What is an Emotional Affair?

An emotional affair is when one person in a relationship is continually going outside of the relationship to another person for their advice, comfort, and emotional support.

An emotional affair can begin very innocently, and often at work. It often begins as a friendship. Sexual attraction is not always a factor in an emotional affair. But the person will continue to use this other person more and more often to be their primary emotional support in their life.

The friendship becomes an emotional affair as soon as the person begins to pull away from their partner and being to prefer turning to their friend for companionship, support, and to share their deep and personal secrets.

Sometimes these emotional affairs will led to sexual affairs, but that isn't always the case. Some emotional affairs though, may see the person emailing, phoning, text messaging, or visiting with their friend multiple times a day. Even when there is sex, it is often quick, with more talking and less sex.

Are you having an emotional affair right now? Here are the signs:

  • You find it easier to talk to your friend than your partner
  • You feel that your friend understands you better, and perhaps in a deeper way, than your partner
  • You have stopped turning to your partner with your deepest secrets and emotions. Instead you confide in your friend.

By turning outside of your relationship for emotional help and conversion, you will never solve the problems found within your relationship. You need to refocus and put your attention on your partner and your relationship.

Sometimes the 'friend' is found only the internet. The partner committing the emotional affair may turn to message boards and chat rooms and instant messengers to find their emotional support. Do you suspect your partner is having an emotional affair online? Here are some signs to look for:

  • They have changed their sleeping patterns so they can spend more time online late at night.
  • They often demand privacy. You may find the computer has been recently moved to a more secluded area of the house.
  • Household chores are ignored for additional time to spend online, and as a sign of a lesser degree of investment in your shared household and relationship.
  • You find evidence of lying. They may try to hide additional bills incurred from chat room access or telephone bills.
  • You notice personality changes in your partner. If you interrupt their online time, you may be met with anger or defensiveness.
  • Your partner has lost interest in sex with you. They may have taken up masterbation in an online environment to fulfill their sexual needs.
  • Your partner has made a marked decline in relationship investment with you.

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