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Comments regarding "Wonderful relationship with minor concerns...".
 Wonderful relationship with minor concerns... Message #69
I've been dating a wonderful girl for about a year now, but I'm wondering if I'm in it for the right reasons.  Here's the briefest back story I can offer.

I met my girlfriend in high school, but we were just friends during that time.  I believe that she held a little bit of interest in me at some point, but I never reciprocated.  We stayed really good friends in college as well, even while I had several different girlfriends, it never bothered her.  I went through a rough spot in my life, got dumped by my girlfriend, spent a long time staying home, drinking far too much and never going out.  She managed to coax me out of hiding for which I am very grateful.  

At some point, things changed to a romantic light, and we suddenly, spontaneously decided that we should date.  Things progressed between us very rapidly (sexually speaking), but I feel like part of the emotional connection isn't there for me.  I've always loved her as a good friend, but I'm still not "in love" with her.  At the same time, because my last girl treated me poorly, I'm very afraid of (and you could even say actively against) falling in love.  This doesn't worry me too much, because I feel that the enduring love is the type of love I have for her, where she is very important to me and I care about her very much, not that she makes me get butterflies in my stomach.

She is a loving and kind girlfriend, and we have a ton of things in common and get along REALLY well!  For all intents and purposes, it is a perfect relationship.  The problem is that although her personality and mindset are what I look for in women, her physique is not.  Simply put, I really don't find her very physically attractive at all.  That's not to say she isn't good looking, but simply that she's (physically) not my type.  At the risk of appearing shallow, I'm concerned that the relationship may turn out poorly in the future because of this.  I sometimes feel like it is unfair to her (and me) when I'm not very interested in sex, kissing, etc. while she is VERY interested.  Because of what happened to me in other relationships, I am faithful to a fault, meaning I would never ever cheat on her.  At the same time, if any attractive women approach me with interest, I can't help but to find myself wishing that my girlfriend looked like them, or that I could simply be with a woman I am more attracted to.

Whenever I think about the possibility of breaking up with her, the first thought in my mind is how much it would hurt her.  I truly do care about her, I have known her for 9 years, and I really do want the best for her.  I'm wondering if I sometimes think about leaving because these other girls who approach me are exciting or if I really just don't find my girlfriend attractive enough to stay together.  At the same time, I wonder if I stay more because I love her and don't want to hurt her than because I want to stay.  I know that this just sounds like I'm whining about a great relationship, but I keep getting hit by this gut feeling that I should leave, whereas there is never a gut feeling that I want to stay.  Any ideas?


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Posted by StarSniper  
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
01:08:41 EST
 
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