Back to Main Page


Comments regarding "Not sure what to do".
 Not sure what to do Message #66
I am a 23 and have been with the same man on and off for almost six years, we started dating when I was in high school and he was head over heels in love with me, but I was not mature enough to handle the relationship and we broke up. He moved 500 miles away and we remained friends, I dated someone else while I finished high school, but when I started college we reconnected and started a long distance relationship. It went really well considering the distance for about two years, then I started suspecting that he was cheating, did some snooping, but never found anything solid, my paranoia got the best of me, so I continue to snoop until I found something questionable. We would fight about it and then make up, eventually it got to be too much and we broke up. We have been broken up for the last year and a half, but it has not been a clean break, we still talk once a week, visit each other and tell each other "I love you". I have tried dating and met some great people, but no one who meets the standards of this man that I am in love with. Recently, we have gotten serious again, talking about me moving to where he is, working on our relationship and getting married. When we are together things are great. I couldn't imagine finding a more loving, caring, generous man. I still have trust issues and worry that while he is so far away that he is dating/being with other women. We talk about it and he is generally pretty open and honest about what he is up to.
I haven't moved closer to him yet, because he just moved to a new state, still 500 miles away for work and does not want to ask me to give up my life here (I have a great job, am going to school for my masters, my own apartment, great friends and am close to my family) if he is not sure if he is going to stay there. (His other option is finding a job closer to me). He says he needs 6 months to really get a feel for the new place and if he wants to stay. At which point if we continue to the way we are then he would ask me to move closer to him and we can begin the normal progression of the relationship, dating, engagement marriage.
I love him and no matter how hard I have tried I have not been able to get over him, but need an opinion am I just wasting my time? Should I just walk away and if it is meant to be it will happen, or stick out the next six months and then possibly move in with him?


comments (2 so far)
Posted by jennKRN  
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
22:32:55 EST
 
Have your say!

Should jennKRN Stay In or Get Out of this relationship?
Stay In   
   
Get Out      


                        

View Results


 my feedback # 86
hi there, i wouldnt hold onto this guy, if he cared about you he would move closer straight away. thats what love is all about making sacrifices


Posted by ant22  
Thursday, April 22, 2010
17:41:43 EST
 Don't let paranoia get the best of you! # 88
I would try not to let being paranoid affect the relationship, if he's never given you a reason to distrust him, then you have no better option than to trust him.  At the same time, if he has been dishonest in the past, sometimes that gut feeling is really accurate.  It sounds like you are both being realistic about the long distance problem, which is good.  I say you shouldn't give up quite yet, but don't drop everything for this guy either, compromise, and good luck!


Posted by StarSniper  
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
01:15:30 EST



Login or Register to post a comment.