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Comments regarding "Im too old to lose the life i wanted for so long".
 Im too old to lose the life i wanted for so long Message #47
I am 33 years old and the mother of my little girl is 23.  when we first got together she was intrested in everything and i wanted to show her everything that i knew.  she had problems with drugs as did i at the time.  we stopped and are both in an outpatient program due to relapse after baby girl was born. i had to tell her mother what was going on so she wouldn't run off with my little girl and possibly regret things later.  call it controlling but i had to do whatever i could to keep an eye on my child.  now we cant seem to get along and she has no respect for me. she works for my mom which also has no respect for me due to drug abuse but my mother doesnt seem to mind "amy's" history of drug abuse. im in college about to graduate and amy has no regard for our future. i am trying to go to my meetings and get futher help but amy wont go and her mother does not encourage her to get help either.  she would like to believe that amy would not have a problem if i werent around, but she has no idea what a mixed up slut her daughter was before i came into the picture. i am not prooud of things i know about her but i cant judge. and i do care about her and at times love her. she doesnt want to be loved but i have to have a stable life for my daughter.  i know what a loving relationship feels like. i was in one at one time, and this is not how it felt. there is no trust and no respect. can these things be achieved through therapy as we work on ourselves or do i just need to let go.  remember she will never allow me be an acting father in my childs life and will possibly jump right into another relationship turning me into "uncle daddy." i hate how she uses me and has the nerve to act ike im the embarassing one when she cant even go to my grandfathers funeral without bitching because since im serving in the mass she doesnt know who to sit with.  or dont leave me, but as soon as she gets comfortable around my little brother she wants to stay a little too long around him.  she is so concerned with my brother and our daughter's relationship but she doesnt bring "k" to her own family's houses.and back to the drug thing i want to get off the medication that we are on but she seems to have no intentions of stopping and without therapy if i leave the meds could turn right back into hard drugs and a new daddy.  im so sick i am getting ulcers. i rambled tonight but please help me make sense of all this. should i stay or should i go


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Posted by dixiedada  
Friday, October 31, 2008
08:33:43 EST
 
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 take charge for your daughters sake # 80
you should get yourself clean and get custody of your daughter. she is the most important thing in your life.


Posted by sweet_nancy  
Friday, August 21, 2009
03:33:59 EST



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