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Comments regarding "SHOULD I STAY OR GO".
 SHOULD I STAY OR GO Message #45
I started dating this guy in March of this year and on June 30 he called me and told me that is ex had just found out she was pregnant and that she was due in October. My problem is that I really care about him and it's gettin close to her due date and I don't know what to do, I've been hurt so many times in a relationship, but a have feelings for him that I have never had for a guy before and, I would hate to push him away if he turns out to be Mr. right. He tells me he won't hurt me and that he doesn't want to be with her, but I know how fast things can change once the baby comes. What should I do?


comments (3 so far)
Posted by UNSURE  
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
17:39:05 EST
 
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Should UNSURE Stay In or Get Out of this relationship?
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 Not an easy yes or no ... # 69
If you stay in this relationship then be prepared to become a stepmother in all aspects. Even if he says it (or his ex) that you won't have any responsibility for the child then they don't know what they are talking about. I've been there and am there right now. There will be some point of the relationship that you will be expected to help out in some ways. Be prepared for that, and except that if you are going to stay in the relationship.


It sounds like neither you or your boyfriend have ever has kids before (just my guess) and if that is true, expect him to be close to his ex for a while. Having a child with someone is a life experience that you both share together and for that reason can form a certain bond that will never be broken due to the events that have already taken place.


If you go forward with this relationship expect some very hard and difficult times ahead, way more difficult than you could have ever imagined. When you involve children in a relationship, everything changes, and I do mean everything.


But if you want to keep your options open (and your freedom to do what you want in life) and not involve kids into a relationship yet (which in my opinion is the most logical choice) then get out while you still can.


I am with a woman that had three boys before I met her and now I'm stuck because of my kinship with the boys for the past 4 years (and not to mention that she gave birth to my little girl 2 years ago) and don't get me wrong but I do love my little girl more than anything but do I wish I would have made a different choice those years ago ... oh do I wish.


Posted by Comella  
Thursday, August 28, 2008
16:27:17 EST
 Tough Call # 72
That is a tough decision.  If he is your Mr. Right you are accepting his child at the same time.

Maybe it's best to just wait and see what life is like after the baby arrives.

Not sure how to vote for you 'Unsure'.


Posted by Lisa  
Thursday, August 28, 2008
19:20:12 EST
 are u tough enough # 74
hey girl i feel ur pain.
it really comes down to if you can handle more pain, and it also depends on how much u trust him.
You will no doubt have to deal with him seing this child, and having to deal with problems such as the baby's mother not wanting you arround her daughter.
Also u may have to put up with his x demanding things from your partner for because after all it is his daughter....


And can u put up with him maybe wanting to put his daughter before u...and feeling just like you are a spare part.

Remember that he, his x and their daughter will all be a part of something that u are not.

And he will want to see his daughter if he is the caring wonderfull man u think he is...because anyone with those traits will not blaim the unborn child and will want to try and give the child the best that they can...

Also him being arround his x, could bring back feelings, remember that before you got with him they were sleeping together just a couple of months before that....for her to get pregnant by him...

Also remember that u may not always be arround whan he goes to see his daughter, and he will not tell you all that he has done and said with his x.....remember that they were together once for a reason...

Are you and him strong enough to face all these issues? Ask yourself hunny.....




Posted by lara100  
Sunday, September 14, 2008
13:00:51 EST



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