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Comments regarding "personal development OR social values?".
 personal development OR social values? Message #38
I'm married for one year to a guy 11 years older to me, arranged marriage.

He doesn't seem to understand me at all. Neither is he too interested in what I say or have to say. He just keep silent. His work demands that he stays away from me for 6 months in every 8 months. He just seems to need a wife who will just fit his need, be there when he wants and when his family wants. just fit his needs. There was never anything like sharing time and space and love,... it never felt like that. Am I only to fulfill his needs and pick up the leftovers to fulfil mine? Most women in his family including his mom, seem to do that, and believe that that's the way it is to be...

I grade myself as a girl with a purpose. Although I have done a lot of mistakes in the past, I still don't feel like giving up. I think I can contribute a lot in my own way to the world at large, but being with him, i am quiet sure that I will never be able to love him or mend with him what so ever. I know for sure that i will spend most of my time only "trying to survive" searching my identity.

I am only lost in the confusion of whether he even cares for me or not, moreover whether I should continue with the relation or not.

I will hurt his parents and mine a hundred times, too,. I know it, because they believe a lot in social values than to take decisions for your own good.
They would attribute all the unrest in my life as the penalty for a wrong decision rather than looking at it as a warning to take a new decision.

Kindly vote thoughtfully.


comments (2 so far)
Posted by 24vgirl  
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
02:09:49 EST
 
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 Who is more important? # 58
It has got to be tough when your cultural background  calls for an arranged marriage.  And you were matched up with someone who wants to meet with you a couple times a year.

I think you'll need to balance the pain and agony of living this way, versus the pain and agony your family will inflict on you if you left.

If it was me - I live for myself. As important family is to me, if my family does not support what is truly best for me - then they don't need to be a part of it.  Why did these people arrange a marriage for you to someone who is never there for you? Or is an arranged marriage set up to only suit the man?

Whatever you decide, best of luck to you and I hope there are better days ahead.


Posted by Lisa  
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
18:57:22 EST
 you have to think of yourself first. # 65
I have to agree with Lisa your family was not thinking of you when they forced you to marry this man and you dont need to think of them when you leave. you tried hard for one year and as you say you have lost yourself. we only get one chance at life do you want to waste it away in a relationship that you are 1. unhappy with 2. not yourself and 3. just trying to survive. I know there are better ways to live this life than that. your family will (if they truly care) get over this and see that you are doing what is best for yourself.  


Posted by whattodo  
Monday, March 10, 2008
21:04:46 EST



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