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Comments regarding "BF's Drama gives Me a Headache!".
 BF's Drama gives Me a Headache! Message #35
I try my very best to not bring excessive emotional baggage into any relationship I enter into. However, my current relationship issues are compounded by my boyfriend's situation:

* He's separated (but will not be officially "divorced" until next month. Paperwork is in place.)

* One of the reasons for the divorce, aside from an unhappy relationship for both parties, is due to his affair.

* The affair produced a child.

* The child was born three weeks ago.

* The child's mother is still in love with him.


I can't blame him for mistakes he made before we were together (Been together 2 months. Known him for much longer); I am with him because:

* We both love each other (yes, we've both said it.)

* We communicate often and if I am displeased with something, he's willing to at least hear me out.

* He is very patient with my faults.

* I truly enjoy spending time with him.

* He has emphatically stated that he does not want to be with anyone else but me; however he also wants to do right by his child.

I am on the fence about this relationship because:

* He is a kind person and he falls too often for his Baby Mama's "sob stories." I end up feeling hurt and sometimes betrayed by their interactions.

* I have never been married and I do not have a child, thus my patience for this situation is constantly being tested.

* Although he is trying to clear up these issues in his life, I am unsure as to "how" and "where" I fit in all of this.

We both agree that space is the best thing while he works things out. However...should I completely let him go or hold out a little hope for a relationship in the future?


comments (4 so far)
Posted by Llen  
Thursday, September 27, 2007
14:59:16 EST
 
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 I couldn't do it # 55
In the end it will be up to you if you have the patience to see if this will work out. You will always have to "share" him with his child and his child's mother. They will probably be in his life for a long time to come. It sounds like he has had relations with you and at least two others in the last 9 months - does he know what he wants? Or is he one of these guys who is completely incapable of being on his own and will drag any interested woman/women along with him. Are you sure he won't cheat on you like he did with his wife?
Personally I would run FAR away from this man, too much baggage for me.


Posted by Lisa  
Sunday, September 30, 2007
18:32:25 EST
 Just dump him, he will give you nothing but pain. # 57
I think before I give any direct advice it would be nice if you could evaluate this relationship more objectively.

Can you note down what is it you like in him?

What do you think makes him the right man in your life...(his ex affairs, his child, his bad reputation in relationships?)

Are you trying to be the problem solver in his life? THen drop out it wont work.

However malleable he may seem to be he will not change. So don't try to change him. If you are doing that the relation will be a misery.

Don't get into a relationship with a guy to whom you have to show your worth, your niceness, or sobbing, to get him close. He should essentially want to cling on to you in all kinds of moods. If he is not doing that, quit right now.

If you need more help contact me with a comment on   my problem dated 13 nov 2007, Take care.

Are you addicted to emotional pain by any chance?


Posted by 24vgirl  
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
02:51:15 EST
 trying is better than giving up # 67
I say stay in because yes, it seem hard but at least he is trying to make things right. you have a lot of pros but your cons you knew before getting invovled with him. It will be hard but if you really love him and want to be with him trying to make it work seems better than throwing it away because of a little drama. you just have to think about how much you really love him and if it is worth the hard work.  


Posted by whattodo  
Monday, March 10, 2008
21:17:50 EST
 too much drama # 75
hunny, i think u should run as fast as u can...hanging on to what if's will only leave u feeling tired and exhausted.
what if he gets back with his x and you cant always believe what men say, especially this man.
He must have been lying to his wife a one point and also may have been lying to his mistress/baby moma.

Just because he said he loves u does not stop him from telling u mis truths....remember he loved his wife enough to marry her and that did'nt work because of lies cheating and mis truth.

y punish ur self there are loads of nice decent respectable guys out there....
open ur eyes baby girl...


Posted by lara100  
Sunday, September 14, 2008
13:30:49 EST



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