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Comments regarding "emotional affair".
 emotional affair Message #33
I have been married for 9 years, with my husband for 11 years, with 2 children. Have a lot of money problems and other issues with my husband and I'm not even sure I married him out of love.

I have known another man for 17 years and have always liked him and had a physical longing for him. We never did anything other then talk a lot, spend time together and be friends and at the time, I didnt know how to express that I wanted more. Therefore, both of us continued to date--and then I met the man who is now my husband and I got pregnant.

I lost touch with my friend for the last 11 years
but NEVER forgot about him and looked for him online several times a year.

about 4 months ago, my husband and I started having major problems and I became very uncertain if i wanted to stay married.

Suddenly, out of the blue, my friend came back into my life.  I instantly realized that I still care for him. This time, i told him so.  Its been 7 weeks and we have not seen each other--he knows everything that is going on with me and my marriage. He has told me that he never forgot me and wants to be with me but won't until i figure out what I want and am truly separated.  He lives in another state and has told me that this time he will wait for me.
I find myself thinking of him all the time,wanting to talk to him all the time and dreaming of the time we can be together. He is starting to pull away because he thinks that I'm going to hurt him.

My husband will not give me a separation. He says we either commit 100% to working it out, or divorce. In the meantime, he will not move out of our house.

The only thing that keeps me in my marriage right now is some financial security--i would have to work full time if i'm not married and I'm scared to go back to work full time after 10 years.

Please give advice!


comments (2 so far)
Posted by notsure  
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
23:27:07 EST
 
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 Ridiculous # 53
You're totally ridiculous! You're stuck in one of these "the grass is greener" scenarios.  Things get tough so you're looking for an excuse to bail. Deal with the relationship you're in first.  Don't pull this crap that you think you weren't really in love with him in the first place. That's a total cop out.

This emotional friend of yours is smart - why would he want to be with a cheater - you'll surely end up doing the same thing to him one day.

Deal with the relationship you have with your husband and children first.  This is the life you chose.  Put everything you can into fixing it, or leave for good. You can't just "try out another man" to see if it works.

You are so selfish - you don't want to work, you are staying married only for money - you didn't mention ONCE what you are doing to your children.  Give your head a shake.


Posted by Lisa  
Thursday, July 26, 2007
14:56:30 EST
 Let Your Husband move on # 62
You have cheated...maybe not physically but mentally. How can you give your husband an honest chance if you have someone else on your mind? Its not fair to him, you are doing nothing but Jading him. If you leave and dont give him a chance how do you know in your heart that it was or wasnt ment to be?


Posted by lostinluv?  
Sunday, January 27, 2008
21:08:34 EST



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