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Comments regarding "Good Man ???".
 Good Man ??? Message #30
I am recently married for the second time.  My new husband and I had similar situations (14 years with our previous partners...I have two boys 12 and 6 and my husband has one daughter 4) We are both in our early 30's.  OK, I allow him to have a working relaitonship with his ex-wife about their daughter..they freely discuss, school, daycares, whether she is sick or tired...bla bla...We have his daughter 50% of the week and my ex husband has our oldest son ( for school purposes) and sees the younger son every thursday and ever other weekend) anyway...for example..today my youngest son fell on the playground today and hurt himself, after dealing with the nurse and doctor i asked the nurse to please notify my ex husband on his cell since it was his weekend with him so that he would get the proper story and know what had happened.  My new husband got mad because the school was going to have communications with my ex husband and hung up on me.  My family (which only consists of my uncle, a few cousins and a sister) still have some contact with my ex husband, but mostly just when he has the boys and they want to see the boys.  My new husband sais that it is him or my family and i am never to talk to them again. He erased all of their numbers off of my cell. There is probably a whole book i could write about those types of situations. on the good side....he is a good provider..and financially stable. he doesnt drink or go out partying....things like that...i feel like he changes the rules as we go and i cant get it right. I was a very independant person when i met him..at my job a long time own my own home and car and now he makes me feel like i can't do anything right... he sais he doesnt mean to make me feel that way...he is a very prejudice person and a grudge holding person and a "get even" type person..but that didnt come out till after we got married.  we have only been married 8 months.....my mind tells me to run but my heart sais give it time...its not easy to blend two families and it will get easier.


comments (1 so far)
Posted by SAM9302  
Friday, March 16, 2007
17:39:48 EST
 
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 Control # 51
You are both trying to have way too much control over each other. This is a marriage, a partnership, not a boss/employee relationship.

You said, you "ALLOW" him to have contact with his ex-wife.  His child is as much his as his ex-wife's just as your children are as much your ex-husband's as your own.  The relationship the children have with their parents should be absolutely no business to the other person in your marriage.

Tell your new husband to grow the hell up.  Erasing numbers off your cell? What is he, 5?

I have no doubt that a blended family is a complicated situation, so I voted to stay in, but maybe you can find a neutral 3rd party, like a counsellor or mediator of some sort, to help you both negotiate these family issues.


Posted by Lisa  
Friday, March 16, 2007
23:29:49 EST



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