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Comments regarding "is it worth it".
 is it worth it Message #18
I am good at choosing bad men for me.  I have been divorced 3 times and in a current relationship for 5 years with a difficult man.  We have been back together for a year after he moved out on me 2 years ago and left me homeless. I am over 50 and am in a dilemma over what to do as our lease is up in a month and I have told him I will not renew it with him here.  I can make it on my own, but think I love him and want him around even though we fight all the time.  He is manipulative and controlling and is trying to talk me out of splitting up.  His mood swings are scary. We have been together for 5 years on and off. Should I settle and deal with it, or get out.  He is trying to make it work, but I know this is just another manipulation becaues he needs me financially.  When it's good, it's good, but when it's bad, it's really scary.  Help!


comments (3 so far)
Posted by elle52  
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
23:43:41 EST
 
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 You know the answer # 24
Everything about your post says you already know the answer.  You "think" you love him??  GET OUT and don't look back. You are worth so much more than living one bad relationship after another. Drop the lease and find your own dream apartment.  One with only one set of keys, if you know what I mean.


Posted by Lisa  
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
00:02:30 EST
 Lisa's right # 26
You have what is call a codependent personality. What you are going through in your relatinship right now is called the cycle of honey moon phase where he's nice and loving and caring for a moment and then you guys get into a fight.  What keep you from leaving is the fact that you are hoping for him to change and the potential that you see in him.  The reason why you stay is because you hoping to go back to the good.  If you want to stay with him you can but he's going to make it difficult for you to move on once you try to leave him again.  Think about it when you buy a car that you like and value so much and it got stolen and then you recover it, what would you do next? would you make the same mistake as to leave it in the same spot where it got stolen and little security mesurement.  No, righ? you going to have to purchase alot of security feature to ensure that the car don't get stolen again. Wake up, he's not going to change.  Don't waste you life away like that I've been married to a man that is verbally abusive and controlling.  I went through the same things you are probably going through. People don't change only situations.  You don't want to be with a man that left you homeless and expect you to cater to him when he's down and out.  Like Lisa said you already know the answer, now it's up to you to make the decision.  Be strong!


Posted by salina  
Thursday, December 21, 2006
16:05:19 EST
 go # 42
He has some deep seeded issues that he still hasn't delt with and probably never will. I dunno but i think you might be trying to force yourself into love because you feel you are getting older and running out of time. remember when you were 30 you probably thought you were way to old but then think of all the things that happended from age 30 to 40. your only as old as you think you are. Dont look for love let it find you your still young enough to have fun with out all the heart break of a bad relationship so give it time and love find you.


Posted by gearbox  
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
13:53:22 EST



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