StayInorGetOut.com - Should I Stay In This Relationship or Get Out !?!

Welcome to StayInOrGetOut.com, the free relationship counselling site.

Are you in a relationship and not sure if it is time to end it? Tell us your relationship situation and let others vote on whether you should Stay In or Get Out!

Eric	Message #42
Ok well. I am going with this guy and he is cute and funny. But i rarly talk to him bc i see him during classes. and he is grounded. should i break up with him? and he is bi meaning he likes girls and boys.
comments (0 so far)	Posted by ixtapaync Wednesday, April 02, 2008 16:10:10 EST

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HELP	Message #41
I am 21 one years old and have not had a serious relationship before my now boyfriend Jonathan. We have been together for 2 years now and I have gone through some tough things together. Lately I have been wondering what else is out there, I have only had sex with Jonathan and wonder what I am missing. Jonathan and I have a great connection and we really are great together however, I cant get over the fact that I have never been with someone else… he has asked me to marry him and since he has asked this thought cant leave me. I want to make the right choice but, I am not sure what that is. what should I do?
comments (1 so far)	Posted by whattodo Monday, March 10, 2008 18:57:13 EST

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He has to leave!	Message #40
I love him dearly, and I know he loves me. We belong together. The problem? His daughter is 3 states away. His ex-girlfriend took off and left him, pretty much stranded. He has started picking up the pieces of his broken life and getting back to where he needs to be. He misses his daughter terribly, and plans on moving to where she lives. It will take him some time; he needs a certain amount of money saved up before he can just relocate, but he has every intention of getting there as quickly as he can. I cannot leave. My daughter is here (and so is her father, to whom I have vowed never to take her away from), all my family is here, and I have a nice career here. This is my home. But I love him dearly and want him to be happy, and a good father as well. I cannot ask him to stay, and neglect his daughter like that. Knowing that he will be leaving in a year or so, do I continue with this relationship, knowing it will end, or do I stay with him, and enjoy the time we have left together, and hope for the best? And if we stay together, how do we make it work, knowing there is no future in it?
comments (1 so far)	Posted by Sloth4shy Friday, February 08, 2008 12:48:25 EST

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Confussed	Message #39
Let me just start by saying my man loves me and I know he does. I care about him deeply and dont really want to lose him but I think more on a common sense level. He has 3 kids ages 18, 7, and 5 all boys. The 18 Yr old isnt a problem but he has half custody over his 7 & 5 yr old and he spoils them. Niether the mom or him wants to disicpline the kids and I have a 9 yr old son and am extremely structured and strick with him. But it pays off he does things like all kids but unlike he's boys my son knows what behavior is acceptable and what isnt and has known since he was 4 I havent had any real problems beside stages that all kids go through. Put that aside I think I could deal with the kids just by giving them structure. My man was fixed after his youngest was born and didnt want any more kids after all he is now 40 yrs old but I am 26 yrs old and would like to have the option to have at least one more ..he thought about it and decided he would like to get a reversal and have a family with me ...but then we started talking and he tells me that he would make me stay at home for the first 5 yrs of the babys life. I am a workaholic this is something I never even considered he also says that my dreams of having land and more then 2 horses is out of reach. I say that Im not asking him to give me them because I want to work for it and get it myself this shouldnt be a big thing but he is really against me working after the baby and against what he calls being "horse broke" the different ideas and intrest seem to be to much. Help?
comments (1 so far)	Posted by lostinluv? Sunday, January 27, 2008 18:45:21 EST

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personal development OR social values?	Message #38
I'm married for one year to a guy 11 years older to me, arranged marriage. He doesn't seem to understand me at all. Neither is he too interested in what I say or have to say. He just keep silent. His work demands that he stays away from me for 6 months in every 8 months. He just seems to need a wife who will just fit his need, be there when he wants and when his family wants. just fit his needs. There was never anything like sharing time and space and love,... it never felt like that. Am I only to fulfill his needs and pick up the leftovers to fulfil mine? Most women in his family including his mom, seem to do that, and believe that that's the way it is to be... I grade myself as a girl with a purpose. Although I have done a lot of mistakes in the past, I still don't feel like giving up. I think I can contribute a lot in my own way to the world at large, but being with him, i am quiet sure that I will never be able to love him or mend with him what so ever. I know for sure that i will spend most of my time only "trying to survive" searching my identity. I am only lost in the confusion of whether he even cares for me or not, moreover whether I should continue with the relation or not. I will hurt his parents and mine a hundred times, too,. I know it, because they believe a lot in social values than to take decisions for your own good. They would attribute all the unrest in my life as the penalty for a wrong decision rather than looking at it as a warning to take a new decision. Kindly vote thoughtfully.
comments (2 so far)	Posted by 24vgirl Tuesday, November 13, 2007 00:09:49 EST

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Help me please...	Message #37
I am 40 year old single mom of three boys. I have been dating a 41 year old man for about six months now. He is an alcholoic..he drinks beer from the time he wakes up untill he goes to bed. I can not tell the difference between when he drinks one beer or ten beers. He drinks at least one beer per hour. He has been seperated from his ex for a little over two years...they are still legaly married and have not filed divorce. They have one child and he is very involved with him. He always stays calm ..never yells or anything like that. Well last week I asked him how he felt about me..he said well if you ask me to chose beer or you I will always chose beer. You are my best friend and thats what I want in my future spouse. I do care about you and you are special to me. I love you but I dont love you enough to marry you today. I do see us moving toward that direction. So what do you think? Thanks..
comments (3 so far)	Posted by dixie_gal Friday, October 26, 2007 21:34:20 EST

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We're different?????	Message #36
Well I'm not sure where should I start with... Ok I am 24 and My BF is 39. I crushed by him for the first time we met.He is incredible charm and very sweet guy I have never met. I used to hang out with younger guy before but I don't like the most way they are. I and my Bf have been together for almost 3 years now. We go along together most of the time. But there is always a wall between us.He told me he doesn't want serious relationship.He asked me to leave many time, he said he worry about me.The more I stay with him the more I will be hurt.He won't marry with me even keep staying with him in 10 years...I don't understand.Sometime he said he need smone bit close to his age who have a bit more experient that he could talk with.He tired of love(He had many long term relationship before but never success).. I try to do the best, growed up..and not act like child....I try it so hard..I don't know whether to stay in or leave when he doesn't give me 100% ...Or maybe I am too needy girl?? I just feel unwanted alots of time..which this made me feel bad about myself.seem like my happiness rely on him... I just feel like I need something more serious than he is willing to give me.. I start to feeling like I can't live without him......but he doesn't feel the same way
comments (1 so far)	Posted by jandjbkk Tuesday, October 09, 2007 00:45:06 EST

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BF's Drama gives Me a Headache!	Message #35
I try my very best to not bring excessive emotional baggage into any relationship I enter into. However, my current relationship issues are compounded by my boyfriend's situation: * He's separated (but will not be officially "divorced" until next month. Paperwork is in place.) * One of the reasons for the divorce, aside from an unhappy relationship for both parties, is due to his affair. * The affair produced a child. * The child was born three weeks ago. * The child's mother is still in love with him. I can't blame him for mistakes he made before we were together (Been together 2 months. Known him for much longer); I am with him because: * We both love each other (yes, we've both said it.) * We communicate often and if I am displeased with something, he's willing to at least hear me out. * He is very patient with my faults. * I truly enjoy spending time with him. * He has emphatically stated that he does not want to be with anyone else but me; however he also wants to do right by his child. I am on the fence about this relationship because: * He is a kind person and he falls too often for his Baby Mama's "sob stories." I end up feeling hurt and sometimes betrayed by their interactions. * I have never been married and I do not have a child, thus my patience for this situation is constantly being tested. * Although he is trying to clear up these issues in his life, I am unsure as to "how" and "where" I fit in all of this. We both agree that space is the best thing while he works things out. However...should I completely let him go or hold out a little hope for a relationship in the future?
comments (3 so far)	Posted by Llen Thursday, September 27, 2007 12:59:16 EST

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confused!	Message #34
ok well here goes, i am 18 and i have been in a gay relationship with my current girlfriend for 2 and a half years now, i know alot of people think that 18 is to young to know what you want from a relationship but i had had many previous relationships and nothing compares to my current one. I love my girlfriend with all my heart and soul but sometimes i do feel like it is a one sided realtionship, i give her everything i can and everything she wants and do not get alot in return. I feel unwanted alot of the time i cant even try and get a cuddle without being yelled at for trying. She does get angry really quickly at me and alot of the time i dont know what i have done wrong, i just feel lke i need something more seriuos than she is willing to give. i know that i would never purposly do anything to hurt hre and i feel like if i leave her this is what i will be doing, but i just feel like i am putting in more than i am getting back. Please i am so confused and i dont know what to do, any advice, please.
comments (0 so far)	Posted by jessie88 Sunday, September 23, 2007 01:39:00 EST

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emotional affair	Message #33
I have been married for 9 years, with my husband for 11 years, with 2 children. Have a lot of money problems and other issues with my husband and I'm not even sure I married him out of love. I have known another man for 17 years and have always liked him and had a physical longing for him. We never did anything other then talk a lot, spend time together and be friends and at the time, I didnt know how to express that I wanted more. Therefore, both of us continued to date--and then I met the man who is now my husband and I got pregnant. I lost touch with my friend for the last 11 years but NEVER forgot about him and looked for him online several times a year. about 4 months ago, my husband and I started having major problems and I became very uncertain if i wanted to stay married. Suddenly, out of the blue, my friend came back into my life. I instantly realized that I still care for him. This time, i told him so. Its been 7 weeks and we have not seen each other--he knows everything that is going on with me and my marriage. He has told me that he never forgot me and wants to be with me but won't until i figure out what I want and am truly separated. He lives in another state and has told me that this time he will wait for me. I find myself thinking of him all the time,wanting to talk to him all the time and dreaming of the time we can be together. He is starting to pull away because he thinks that I'm going to hurt him. My husband will not give me a separation. He says we either commit 100% to working it out, or divorce. In the meantime, he will not move out of our house. The only thing that keeps me in my marriage right now is some financial security--i would have to work full time if i'm not married and I'm scared to go back to work full time after 10 years. Please give advice!
comments (2 so far)	Posted by notsure Wednesday, July 25, 2007 21:27:07 EST

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how can i trust him?	Message #32
my boyfriend and i fight all the time. When we first got together he looked up porn on the internet all the time and downloaded movies. I told him how it made me feel and he told me he would stop. Turns out he just moved his porn movies to another folder on his computer. I kept finding them and there was one day when i was laying on the couch and he was on the computer. I found out later that he was downloading a porn movie. If he was that horny why couldnt he come tell me?? Then when my birthday rolled around he told me that he had ordered my present but it wouldnt be here for a couple of weeks. He had borrowed 25 dollars from his mom and told me that it was to pay for my present. A couple of weeks later I was at his house and found a package from Adam And Eve with 3 porn movies in it. The worst part is that the bill was for 24.95... What he really borrowed the money for. I destroyed them that day. Just about a week ago, i found a picture of a girl that he had printed off and confronted him about it. He lied to me and told me that it was his ex girlfriend and that she had wrote him a message on myspace.com and he meant to delete her picture but printed it instead.. Turns out it was a 32 year old from the UK. HE had viewed a lot more of her pictures and they were all of her either half naked or totally naked. Then i went through the history and i counted 85 other pages of naked women that he looked at. He looked at all of these women when he was supposed to be watching our daughter. Then i find in his email that he was talking to some other married whore while i was pregnant and there was one of my friend's friend that likes my boyfriend and i found some emails between them.. I have no idea what to do. Can someone help me??
comments (2 so far)	Posted by babymomma Wednesday, July 11, 2007 15:22:02 EST

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Continue my life?	Message #31
Ok, here goes the story. We are a gay couple. I am in my 20s, he is in his 50s. He is in the US, I am in Europe. I visited him few times because realistically it was easier for me to visit. Don't get me wrong, 'easier' does not mean impossible for him to visit. Just easier for me. We have been chatting every single day and morning when we would be far away and after a year we decided I should file my immigration papers so we can live together. I literally chose what company should I work for and actually they filled papers. Knowing how hard it is to get in the U.S. these days, we thought how lucky we are. Well, it took 2 years and still no light at the end of the tunnel. As I showed my immigration intention now I have to get my visa even to visit. As I feel there is really not much hope (if at all) for me to stay there (even if i get the visitor's visa, which i doubt), I proposed him to move here. Then he started how he cannot move, that his guts are telling him it is not the right thing to do right now, he would need to learn the language, not having friends etc. I really love him and I do not think I ever loved that way anyone, and I do not have doubts about his feelings, nor that he is cheating on me (having friends there). He is determined not to come here, although it would maybe mean it is the only way to be together. I suspect something is going on. Due my nature of job I travel quite a lot and sometimes even have to stay somewhere for months (and years would not be anything surprising either). He always claims (even now!) that once we are together he would move wherever I must go. These are all "good", democratic countries too! So even though I suspect I will ever find such a great soulmate as he is, I am reluctantly coming to the point where I would satisfy with less but with the real relationship! Should I just continue my life or should I be patient? We both get so lonely in this long-distance relationship so much that it is something not bearable! Thing is that even if my petition for US immigration gets approved, I would think really really good should I move there. Primarily because of his determination not move here. Please help! If you have some moral issues regarding gay relationships, treat it as a straight relationship or just move on. Thanks.
comments (0 so far)	Posted by vanja Friday, April 06, 2007 17:54:54 EST

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